Emphatic Ashanti Marriage Ceremony

By: Erica Bekoe(DCS20695)

A marriage in Asante is not only the concern of the man and the woman contracting it

but of their kinfolk also. Its effects on the lineage (ABUSUA) of each partner are far-

reaching and so every marriage, to be lawful, should receive the sanction and

approval of the lineage-head (ABUSUA PANYIN) of both the man's and the woman's

lineages. The part played by parents too is active and decisive. It is they who are

ultimately responsible for the guidance of their children in choosing a suitable life

partner wisely. Before the Whiteman came the fathers specific duty to his son was to

train him from childhood to adolescence, marry a wife for him (OWARE MA NO)

and buy him a gun before the young man was thrown into the stream of life. 0BA

NYINI OSE FIE, NA ONKA HO (a child grows up in his father's house but does not

remain living there all his life). If a son, as a result of his father's failure or neglect to

marry a wife for him, committed adultery, the father was held responsible for the

payment of the adultery fine (AYEFARE). A mother, in like manner, trained her

daughter in housecraft and eagerly looked forward to the day when she would marry

her properly to a desirable man. And so it was that the final word on the choice of

one's spouse remained with one's parents. A stranger may argue and say: But why

should I allow my parents to interfere with my choice of wife or a husband? Why

can't I marry any man or woman whom I love? Some fifty years ago every Asante

child knew and was conscious that OPANYIN ANO Y~ OBOSOM (the mouth of an

elderly person is a god) and so to disobey one's parents, especially one's father, was to

incur the displeasure of his KRAANE N'ABOSOM (his soul and his gods). That

was MMUSUO (mystical disaster) and any marriage or undertaking that was without

the blessing of parents was expected to have an unhappy ending. A young woman

who had her own way and ignored her parents in her choice of a husband would have

no one to appeal to for succour when she was ill-treated or improperly supported by

A marriage in Asante is not only the concern of the man and the woman contracting it
but of their kinfolk also. Its effects on the lineage (ABUSUA) of each partner are far-
reaching and so every marriage, to be lawful, should receive the sanction and
approval of the lineage-head (ABUSUA PANYIN) of both the man's and the woman's
lineages. The part played by parents too is active and decisive. It is they who are
ultimately responsible for the guidance of their children in choosing a suitable life
partner wisely. Before the Whiteman came the father's specific duty to his son was to
train him from childhood to adolescence, marry a wife for him (OWARE MA NO)
and buy him a gun before the young man was thrown into the stream of life. 0BA
NYINI OSE FIE, NA ONKA HO (a child grows up in his father's house but does not
remain living there all his life). If a son, as a result of his father's failure or neglect to
marry a wife for him, committed adultery, the father was held responsible for the
payment of the adultery fine (AYEFARE). A mother, in like manner, trained her
daughter in housecraft and eagerly looked forward to the day when she would marry
her properly to a desirable man. And so it was that the final word on the choice of
one's spouse remained with one's parents. . · A stranger may argue and say: But why
should I allow my parents to interfere with my choice of wife or a husband? Why
can't I marry any man or woman whom I love Some fifty years ago every Asante
child knew and was conscious that OPANYIN ANO Y~ OBOSOM (the mouth of an
elderly person is a god) and so to disobey one's parents, especially one's father, was to
incur the displeasure of his KRAANE N'ABOSOM (his soul and his gods). That
was MMUSUO (mystical disaster) and any marriage or undertaking that was without
the blessing of parents was expected to have an unhappy ending. A young woman
who had her own way and ignored her parents in her choice of a husband would have
no one to appeal to for succour when she was ill-treated or improperly supported by


an unapproved husband. A wise girl would therefore always make her acceptance of a
proposal subject to her parents consent: S~ AGYA NE ~NA PENE SO DE A,
M~ARE WO (should my father and my mother approve of the proposal I shall agree
to marry you) she would always say to her suitor. But now it is not uncommon to see
an Oo~~MANII (the young of modem times) especially those in cities and in large
towns taking no notice of his or her parents objection. If the parents remain adamant
the Oo~~MANII may leave their house and go live with his or her chosen spouse. In
choosing a wife for their son or in approving of one of his own choice, parents always
take into consideration the ABUSUA (lineage) of the prospective wife, her parents
and her own personal character. Marriage in Asante being exogamous parents must, in
the first place, satisfy themselves that OY~ NE WAREFOO (he is not prohibited from
marrying her), i.e. that she falls outside the ring of prohibited marriages. A man will
not be allowed to marry a woman of his own lineage ( OBUSUANII) who shares
funeral debts and expenses with him. If he is, say, an ASONA man, he will not be
allowed to marry an ASONA woman. That is on the mother's side. The patrilineal
ring will include the daughters of his father's brothers. [1] The next point to consider
is the parents of the future wife. Marriage is a connecting link joining two lineage
groups together. Parents must, therefore, from the onset satisfy themselves that their
future relations-in-law are agreeable. If the mother or the father or a near relative of
the future wife proves to be quarrelsome (0T0KWA-KOF00), litigious
(NANSOTWE-NII), ungrateful (ONNI AY~), greedy {ODIFUDEP~FOO) or when
there is any trace of YARE-BONEE (bad disease) such as leprosy {KWATA),
fainting fits (OTWAR~), or Cushions syndrome {NKWANTU), the parents of the
man will disapprove of the choice of their son and say OFIE HO FO HO NTE, ENTI
Y~RENTUMI MMA WONKO MU AWAREE (the people of that house are not

clean, we are therefore unable to consent to your marrying from there). Afua, an old
woman of about sixty whose four sons have all been successful in marrying, when
interviewed as to the qualities she looked for when choosing or approving of a wife
for her sons, said: She always becomes a good wife, a young woman who is
industrious (0DEY0F00), respectful (OBU NIPA), obedient (OTE KASA) and
sexually faithful (OTE NE HO ASE). Beauty (AH00FE) is taken into consideration
but it is not by any means a decisive factor. On their part, parents of a girl would want
to satisfy themselves that, among other things, their future son-in-law is industrious
(OSIFOO), manly and potent ( OY~ OBARIMA PAA) and that his character is
without blemish (NE HO NNIASEM).
A girl's brothers are not mere passive on-lookers in the matter of the choice of their
future AKONTAGYE (brother-in-law). It is their concern that their WOFAASE-
NOM (maternal nephews and nieces), being their future heirs, should be born of a
man of brawn, brain and good character. WUNNJM DE~ DABI OBEDI WO ADE~
A. HW~ WOAKONTAGYE (should you wish to know the nature of the person who
will inherit from you and take over your property in future, look at your brother-in-
law) People of the older generation disfavoured AHOHO-WARE~ (marrying a non
native of one's own town or village) especially where the antecedents of the person
were not known. Marrying from one's own town was favoured and was very much
preferred: NWARE NE KURO-MAN-NII NNU NE HO (No one ever married
his or her towns-man/-woman and regretted it) is a proverb often quoted.

THE MARRIAGE IN ACTUALITY

In the Ashanti culture , couples hold a ‘traditional’ wedding followed by a
religious/legal/civic wedding. This means that couples are married in the eyes of the
community, and in the eyes of the church or law.
The ‘traditional’ wedding is a very important element of the unifying of the couple
and is typically a group affair, involving immediate and distant family members and
all members of the local community. The groom will be accompanied by his family to
formally ask the bride’s family for the bride’s hand in marriage. This starts with a
knocking on the door ceremony. The groom, his father and family elders visit the
bride’s house to knock on the door following the traditional “kookoo ko” knocking on
the entrance of the house. Here the groom is greeted by the bride’s male family
members who make the groom and his party wait by not opening the door for some
time. Eventually the groom is allowed in, presenting alcoholic beverages
(typically schnapps used to pour libation as a traditional form of prayer to the
ancestral spirits and God) and some money to the bride’s family. Following this, a
spokesman from the groom’s delegation announces their intention,saying that the
groom has seen a beautiful flower in the grounds of the house and would like to
uproot it. ( the quoting of the word may have changed). Once the intentions are
announced, both families sit on opposite sides of the room with elders from both sides
beginning the marriage ceremony with prayers and introductions. At this point the
bride isn’t in the room and the groom doesn’t speak. The groom’s family presents the
dowry to the bride’s family who decide whether enough is being offered. Once the
dowry is agreed and everything has been presented to the bride’s family the bride is
brought into the room. But not before a few decoys are brought into the room to tease
the groom who is asked every time a decoy is presented whether this is his bride.
Eventually the bride will be brought in and is asked three times by her father if she

agrees to marry the groom, and whether they should accept the dowry and gifts or not.
Once she has agreed the groom slips a ring onto the bride’s finger and a bible is
presented to the couple as a symbol of the importance of religion in their marriage.
Prayers are said, blessings given and congratulations and  advice given by all elders.
Topped off with a big party, food, music and dancing, the couple are now married in

the eyes of the community.

an unapproved husband. A wise girl would therefore always make her acceptance of a

proposal subject to her parents& consent: S~ AGYA NE ~NA PENE SO DE A,

M~ARE WO (should my father and my mother approve of the proposal I shall agree

to marry you) she would always say to her suitor. But now it is not uncommon to see

an Oo~~MANII (the young of modem times) especially those in cities and in large

towns taking no notice of his or her parents objection. If the parents remain adamant

the Oo~~MANII may leave their house and go live with his or her chosen spouse. In

choosing a wife for their son or in approving of one of his own choice, parents always

take into consideration the ABUSUA (lineage) of the prospective wife, her parents

and her own personal character. Marriage in Asante being exogamous parents must, in

the first place, satisfy themselves that OY~ NE WAREFOO (he is not prohibited from

marrying her), i.e. that she falls outside the ring of prohibited marriages. A man will

not be allowed to marry a woman of his own lineage ( OBUSUANII) who shares

funeral debts and expenses with him. If he is, say, an ASONA man, he will not be

allowed to marry an ASONA woman. That is on the mother's side. The patrilineal

ring will include the daughters of his fathers brothers. [1] The next point to consider

is the parents of the future wife. Marriage is a connecting link joining two lineage

groups together. Parents must, therefore, from the onset satisfy themselves that their

future relations-in-law are agreeable. If the mother or the father or a near relative of

the future wife proves to be quarrelsome (0T0KWA-KOF00), litigious

(NANSOTWE-NII), ungrateful (ONNI AY~), greedy {ODIFUDEP~FOO) or when

there is any trace of YARE-BONEE (bad disease) such as leprosy {KWATA),

fainting fits (OTWAR~), or Cushions syndrome {NKWANTU), the parents of the

man will disapprove of the choice of their son and say OFIE HO FO HO NTE, ENTI

Y~RENTUMI MMA WONKO MU AWAREE (the people of that house are not

clean, we are therefore unable to consent to your marrying from there). Afua, an old

woman of about sixty whose four sons have all been successful in marrying, when

interviewed as to the qualities she looked for when choosing or approving of a wife

for her sons, said: She always becomes a good wife, a young woman who is

industrious (0DEY0F00), respectful (OBU NIPA), obedient (OTE KASA) and

sexually faithful (OTE NE HO ASE). Beauty (AH00FE) is taken into consideration

but it is not by any means a decisive factor. On their part, parents of a girl would want

to satisfy themselves that, among other things, their future son-in-law is industrious

(OSIFOO), manly and potent ( OY~ OBARIMA PAA) and that his character is

without blemish (NE HO NNIASEM).

A girl's brothers are not mere passive on-lookers in the matter of the choice of their

future AKONTAGYE (brother-in-law). It is their concern that their WOFAASE-

NOM (maternal nephews and nieces), being their future heirs, should be born of a

man of brawn, brain and good character. WUNNJM DE~ DABI OBEDI WO ADE~

A. HW~ WOAKONTAGYE (should you wish to know the nature of the person who

will inherit from you and take over your property in future, look at your brother-in-

law) People of the older generation disfavoured AHOHO-WARE~ (marrying a non

native of one's own town or village) especially where the antecedents of the person

were not known. Marrying from one's own town was favoured and was very much

preferred: NWARE NE KURO-MAN-NII NNU NE HO; (No one ever married

his or her towns-man/-woman and regretted it) is a proverb often quoted.

THE MARRIAGE IN ACTUALITY

In the Ashanti culture , couples hold a ‘traditional’ wedding followed by a

religious/legal/civic wedding. This means that couples are married in the eyes of the

community, and in the eyes of the church or law.

The ‘traditional’ wedding is a very important element of the unifying of the couple

and is typically a group affair, involving immediate and distant family members and

all members of the local community. The groom will be accompanied by his family to

formally ask the bride’s family for the bride’s hand in marriage. This starts with a

knocking on the door ceremony. The groom, his father and family elders visit the

bride’s house to knock on the door following the traditional “kookoo ko” knocking on

the entrance of the house. Here the groom is greeted by the bride’s male family

members who make the groom and his party wait by not opening the door for some

time. Eventually the groom is allowed in, presenting alcoholic beverages

(typically schnapps used to pour libation as a traditional form of prayer to the

ancestral spirits and God) and some money to the bride’s family. Following this, a

spokesman from the groom’s delegation announces their intention,saying that the

groom has seen a beautiful flower in the grounds of the house and would like to

uproot it. ( the quoting of the word may have changed). Once the intentions are

announced, both families sit on opposite sides of the room with elders from both sides

beginning the marriage ceremony with prayers and introductions. At this point the

bride isn’t in the room and the groom doesn’t speak. The groom’s family presents the

dowry to the bride’s family who decide whether enough is being offered. Once the

dowry is agreed and everything has been presented to the bride’s family the bride is

brought into the room. But not before a few decoys are brought into the room to tease

the groom who is asked every time a decoy is presented whether this is his bride.

Eventually the bride will be brought in and is asked three times by her father if she

agrees to marry the groom, and whether they should accept the dowry and gifts or not.

Once she has agreed the groom slips a ring onto the bride’s finger and a bible is

presented to the couple as a symbol of the importance of religion in their marriage.

Prayers are said, blessings given and congratulations and  advice given by all elders.

Topped off with a big party, food, music and dancing, the couple are now married in

the eyes of the community.